So I went to the doctors today to get my knee checked out, and im pissed. PISSED I TELL YOU! It wasent that bad of a dislocation, not as bad as last time, or the time before that (fucking skateboards!) but I somehow managed to do more damage to my knee this time then all of the times before. FUCK!

Basic healing process for me right now?

I was givin a knee stabalizer, wich for those of you who dont know, keeps my knee in place and makes in impossible for me to walk correctly or even bend my leg. Just imagin a plastic and velcro cast. FUCK yet again!

This god awfull thing has to stay on for a god damn week! The only times I am allowed to take it off is for sleep, showers, and to ice my knee. So yes, thats right ladies and gentlemen, I get to be the hopping wonder at work all this week. I hope I dont drop anything, because did I mention I CANT FUCKING BEND OVER! ::Pant Pant Pant:: Im ok. Im ok.

Thursday I go for X rays, Friday I see a bone specialist. And this lady gets to have the power to tell me A) If I need another surgery, wich would mean me being one bedrest for a god damn month. B) If I need physical thearapy because the tendants still are not reacting to normal meathods of healing, wich would mean MORE bedrest and MORE money out of my pocket, because by the time this comes around I wont have insurance. And last but not least C) If I will be able to go to campout.

No, Fuck That! I am going to campout. Even if I have to barrow arrows off of someone and just arch all campout, I am going to campout.

The only upside? More meds. Lower doesage then before because I have to have enough feeling in my body to tell if I am overworking my knee, but still, I have meds. And anyone who was at practice last night can tell you how much fun I am on meds. (Insert sarcasm here!)

Fuck Knees! Fuck Knee Stabalizers! Fuck Knee Doctors Telling Me What I Can And Can Not Do!




Im done, Im gonna go take a vicadin and chill the fuck down!

Tags: fffuuuccckkk!!!
Current Mood: pissed off

Fuck today. Fuck Yesterday... oh yes, and here is a pre-fuck today for tommorrow!




Later


... Much

The early signs were all there. The warning, the acting, the fighting, it was all there but I always turned a blind eye to it. Even after havin many conversations with different friends, one more the others, I still put on a smile a decided that it would be best to pretend that my friends would not do this to each other.

... Jesus fucking Christ I need to stop with the whole blind eye shit. LoL. But in reality I saw it coming, I knew what would happen, I just really hoped it wouldent. Oh well. I guess the only thing I can do is sit back and be friendly to everyone like I always do. Im lucky this time, im not the cause or am I directly connected to the conflict. So being an unbiased 3rd party wont be hard at all.

But I wish it dident happen. I wish shit wasent hittin the fan. I wish.









P.S.

WHY DO THE CRAZY BITCHES FIND ME ATTRACTIVE!?!?!?!?!

... very very pink.










It hurts my head.

So I havent updated for a while... seems to be a pattern with me. Dont update for 3 weeks and then catch everyone up with one big entry. So here we go.

Ill start with being really sick. I was sick for like a day. I think I said something about this in my last post... *Checks last post* Yes, yes I did. So ill leave that one well enough alone.

Well I went to the event on sunday, it was fun. I beat Inox one on one... so I am feeling a bit good about myself. But I really need to go back to sword and Board. I miss it. Shit, I miss having a shield. I need to build a new one soon. Along with building Jens. Ill do all of that with my first paycheck, unless my dad actually lends me that money that he said he would. Doubt it, but heres to hoping.

Im the temp head Costume Marshall. Woo hoo! And if I do a good job then im going to stay as one. Maby not the head marshall, but a costume marshall none the less. So adding to my list I am the temp head costume marshall, an events marshall, and the personal assistant to the secritary. If this doesent make me look good then I dont know what will.

I got a job at the home depot. Full time 40 hours a week makin 10 an hour. After 60 days I get a $.50 raise and after 90 days I get benifits. So that is good.

A band contacted me and asked me if I would like to try out as thier new bassist. They are a really good pop/punk/chick band. I say chick band because the lead singer is a girl. But ive been in bands where the singer was a girl and its always a fun thing to do. But currently learning their songs SUCKS! The lead guitarist wrote all the bass parts so im trying to learn the songs while playing lead guitar on bass. Not a fun thing to do... at all.

What els... thinkthinkthink. My dad sucks. He keeps threatning that he will kick me out. Im starting to think that he wont do it. So when I move out (sometime in april/may) im waiting to see his face. lol It should be priceless.

Went over jens last night. Fun stuff. I think her uncle wishes to destroy my face. The first meeting went as fallows.

"Hey, Im jens uncle."
"Hey, im Smurff... im her friend."
*Looks at neck*
"Yea... 'friend'"

Then her aunt... I think it was her aunt... introduces herself. So I say "Hey im sirens... jens friend."

... long story short she thought I called Jen by another girls name. Now im retarded... but not THAT retarded.

Fun times. LoL.

Anyway, I think thats all I really wish to say right now... I dunno. Maby ill update late. Maby not.

-Keith "Smurff"

Oh, if ya wanna check out that band that I joined their myspace is http://www.myspace.com/beautifuldisasterband.

Tags: dad = ass, job, siren, stuff

I really should be laying down right now. Im sick. Not as sick as I was yesterday/last night, but I still feel like I just got beat with a tree. (Ya know, cuz my new daddy beats me. lol)

Yesterday morning I woke up at Liz and Riggs not feeling to hot. I felt fine for like a half an hour, and then all of a sudden I felt this nice little sensation in the pit of my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and pushed Bard out of the way just in time to blow chunks everywhere. It wasent pretty. Thus starting my "wonderful" day. I layed on thier couch all day. In that mid point between being asleep and being awake, becoming active just long enough to puke and lay back down. It was fun.

During the day my fever stayed at 100 - 101. I finally kept something in my stomach so I was feeling a bit beter... untill Travis and Tiff came over. Tiff told me that I needed to take a HOT shower to make my temp peak so that I could sweat it out. I dident wanna, but I did. After the shower I puked again and my fever hit 102. I felt like assssssss! Then Siren and Nyx came over... wich was really wierd because I knew Siren had work the next day, but she called out and stayed the night. I dont really remember much of last night because I was fairly close to being crazy from my high fever, but from what I do remember Siren dident leave my side for more then a few minutes. Eventually, after putting cold rags on me and forcing meds into me my fever started to break. I ended up feeling much beter. This morning I woke up feeling normal again, still kinda out of it but normal and somewhat healthy.

So, all in all, thanks to Siren, Bard, Liz, Nyx, Tiff, and Travis all taking care of my retardedly sick self I felt wonderfull today... up untill about 2 hours ago. I woke up from a nap and felt like ass again, so I took a pill and tryed to relax. But the pill did not wanna stay down. So I spent a good amount of time taking care of myself and I feel a tiny bit beter. Ive actually thrown up 2 times sence I started writing this post (horay buckets next to computers!) But hopefully Ill make it through the night ok. lol. As Siren said, if I die from this, she will be very upset with me.

Eh, life is life. Guess I gottsta take it how it hits me. But it wouldent hurt to throw a few jabs back at it from time to time.

Oh, and btw Siren, you don't win. And as soon as I feel beter ill be more then happy to show you.

Tags: sick, siren, stuff
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: VNV Nation - Standing

So you have all read about how I have been struggling with myself, and who I am, and who I want to be. Well, im there.

This post is to warn and inform that after alot of thought and alot of talking to a very good friend of mine, I am exactly who I am. Some of you may notice changes. Some of you already have. Some of you may really like this side of me. Some of you already do. But it is exactly what it sounds like. I have become a "new" me. I finally have my confidence back. Im finally happy to be in my shoes and im finally living my life according to my rule.

My life will still be the same in alot of aspects. I will still be here for my friends. I will still be in the middle of the crowd telling jokes. I will still be the happy go lucky smurff who is not botherd by little things. But some things will be changing.

My life is mine. Nobody els has the right to claim it.

So ive been having some fun lately. So lets back track to say... wensday night.


Wensday night Johann came over and stayed the night. It was cool. I got to cheer him up a bit and It's kinda cool to just chill with him one on one. Hes a good friend that I dont think I have ever gotten one on one time with. So all is good.

Woke up thursday, bullshitted, and went to practice. FFUUCCKK!! It was cold. LoL. But it was fun. We actually had enough people to call it a practice. I really dident fight as hard as I should have, but concidering the cold and the fact that I am just now getting over being sick, I fought good enough.

After practice I stayed the night over Bards. It was me, bard, newman, Travis, and Tiff all chilling there. Later that night after everyone went to bed me and Travis got into a LONG conversation that led into demonstration. Lets just say that this was a much needed push in the right direction for my self confadence. After that convo, I dont think ill be doubting myself for a bit.

The next morning it was just me, bard, and travis. Around 1:00 Soul-Oh came over and we all met Mo at work and went to lunch with her. It was fun. I accidentally ate a pickle... I was highly upset.

After lunch with Mo we went back to Bards house, after like 4 stops. We finally got into bards door at like 5, and no sooner did we get in the house did we start drinking. By 7 Me, Soul-Oh, and Travis killed a bottle of vodka.

Siren showed up at Bards and we started watching Jaskass Number 2. Throughout the movie jokes were passed back and forth between me and Travis about my newly aquired skill. Now mind you this skill was taught to me with the soul intent of being used, even though I was told that I was not allowed to even try for a very very long time.

... Long story short, the skill was used. Probably not the best it could have been, but in Travis's own words "Dude, just watching him... I dont even belive I JUST taught him last night." So I guess I did alright.

After a while Mo, Scrappy, Burlap, Tanner, Anya, and Anya's friend erin all showed up.

I took it on myself to make sure Burlap got FUCKED UP! And he did.

And then the icing on the mother fucking cake happend. I dont feel the need to go into extream detail right now. So maby if ur lucky i'll tell ya about it.

The night started to die down for me. I started to sober up and I was very happy just relaxing on the couch with Siren... untill strip poker started. So, knowing me and knowing my love for poker, and naked people, then you should know that I ran to the table. I wasn't actually playing, I was teaching Siren... and she was doing pretty damn good. Because when it came time for me to leave she had the most layers on.

Kreaton and Grimm showed up and told me it was time to leave. Witch I was sad about. I was having way to much fun to just roll out. But they both looked pissed so I thought it best not to argue with them. Well, as wierd as it may sound. Im glad I left, because I was givin one of the best goodbyes that I have ever been givin. Maby I should leave places more often... lol

Well I went back to Kreatons, fell asleep, woke up and went to the Civil War Rienactment meeting. lol Yes, I am not a Civil War Rienactor. Its awsome.

Then I cam home, took a nap, and now Im here. LoL. Wow, that was long. Sorry. I guess ill end it now.

Peace!

So today has been extreamly boring. EXTREAMLY! lol. Its pretty bad when the high point of your day is a dinner that you dont really like.

But lets see, what did happen today.

Woke up at 5 this morning with a headach, a high fever, and coughing my ass off. Fun.

Did nothing for a few hours.

Started playing ff12.

Took a nap.

Woke up at like... 11, or 12, I dunno. Whenever Nyx called me I woke up.

Played more ff12.

Talked to Jen on the phone after taking some nyquil or however its spelled. So i got reallllly tired and got off the phone.

Woke up at 7 and ate some dinner.

Got a bad email from the MVA. They are fighting me on the loopholes I found. SO I gotta call them tomorrow. I will win. I will have my driving test on thursday. Fuck, even friday day. I dont care. I will be driving before this weekend.

Had a convo with my mom about driving. She felt the need to inform me that even though I will have my license I dont have insurance yet. Fuck that, I will still drive. Mark my words.

Got online.

Got a cell phone call from my friend alex, hes trying to get me a job and Panera Bread. Its only 8 an hour, but its a job right. Something to get some cash in my pocket.

Tryed to call Jen at 9:30ish. No answer. $20 says she fell asleep.

Got back online.

Talking to TJ.

... And thats my day. lol. I think im gonna end this boring ass pointless entry.


-Smurff

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal.